


PUNCH ME UNDER THE MISTLETOE

by Hades_the_Blingking



Category: Yakuza Kiwami - Fandom, 龍が如く | Ryuu ga Gotoku | Yakuza (Video Games)
Genre: Big Ace Kiryu, Canon Compliant, Christmas, Christmas fic, Comedy, Cute, Fluff, Humor, Humour, Kissing, M/M, Majima Family meetings, Majima has a crazy plan to Punch Kiryu but what's new, Majima is everywhere, Mistletoe, Rina gives some good advice, Swearing, Who knows tbh, Yakuza Kiwami, absolute goblin, especially in our hearts, gremlin majima, kinda if beat downs are cute, the millenium tower, what is going on in kiryu's mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21646120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hades_the_Blingking/pseuds/Hades_the_Blingking
Summary: Majima (and Family) comes up with a new, groundbreaking strategy to entrap Kiryu into a fight. However, things don't quite go to plan when Kiryu, as usual, does the unexpected. Majima is confused but happy, but also mad that Kiryu keeps escaping his fights. Kiryu thinks he's being entirely logical, but nobody has any idea what his logic is. Rina will help these fools figure out what the heck is going on.A cute Christmas fic for our Yakuza boys!Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!! ^.^b
Relationships: Kiryu Kazuma/Majima Goro
Comments: 66
Kudos: 259





	1. Mistletoe him boys

“Alright you lazy fucks, get in here!”  
Nishida jumped as Majima-san kicked open the door to the family meeting room and screeched. The boss seemed extra agitated today, and all the old souls of the Majima Family knew the most likely cause; he hadn’t managed to entrap Kiryu-san into a beatdown for a single day and was getting cagey. Some of the newer members glanced at each other. Babies. They would soon find out what it was like to be taken under Majima’s baseball-bat-wielding wing.

“Sit, sit, shit my grandma could move faster.” Majima had said baseball bat and kind of twirled it as they all filed in. The seats were arranged in a semi-circle, some Christmas film was burbling away on the background TV, and a whiteboard had been wheeled in. They were all the new craze now, but Nishida didn’t see how they were much different from a blackboard. Well, whatever the boss wanted, he supposed.

“Alright, you all know what we’re here for.” Majima slapped a photo of Kiryu on to the whiteboard with tape. “Ideas to get this man. If I hear some good ones pizza’s on me.”  
He turned to the whiteboard and wrote out _Kiryu-chan_ in near-illegible kawaii script.  
“Ooh, you could dress up as a street performer, and if Kiryu-san doesn’t donate to you, you could beat him up!” A lady behind Nishida suggested.  
“It’d have to be somethin’ flashy to get Kiryu-chan’s attention.” Majima mused, but scribbled it on the whiteboard anyway.

“You could hide in a laundromat for when Kiryu-san does his washing?” Another guy tried.  
“Inside a washing machine!!” Majima-san grinned, then paused. “But I ain’t ever seen Kiryu wash anythin’…”  
“We could dunk him in something? Like water or goo…” Nishida added, but Majima still didn’t look convinced.  
“We can’t be sure he’d go to a laundromat though… my Kiryu-chan, so unpredictable.” Majima pouted, but still scrawled ‘laundromat?? Goo??’ on the whiteboard.  
“Boss, if you want to get rid of this guy so bad why don’t you just…shoot him?” A newbie from the back asked, and the more experienced Majima Family members just braced themselves. 

Majima-san whipped around and hurled the whiteboard pen with such precision and power that it smacked the guy between the eyes with a hollow _donk_ , and bounced off so hard that it came back. Majima caught it and bared his teeth as the guy reeled in his seat.  
“Where the fuck’s the honour in that? You think that would be any fun?? I’m trying to kick his ass not kill him ya fuckin’ waste of space, get outta here!”

Both the members in front of Majima, and those in the row behind scrambled as he climbed over their chairs, grabbed the offending guy by the front of the shirt, and bodily hurled him out the door. Nishida quite liked these meetings. They were always eventful.  
“Now, has anyone got any sensible ideas around here, or do I gotta go talk to the old birds at the Pachinko Parlour again?” Majima grumped, and climbed back into the centre again. The green sticks at the back sort of eyed each other in confusion. They’d get the hang of it sooner or later.

“Hide in a trashcan? That seems to work…” Koike suggested and Majima just made an exasperated noise at her.  
“I can’t keep doin’ the same shit! Kiryu-chan will avoid me, and I’ll get bored out of my brain!” Majima picked up his bat, and paced.  
“Does he have an apartment or something? You could hide in his closet…” Somebody piped up.  
“Nah, he seems to live at this bar. And the owner hit me with a bottle one time so I got respect for her ya know?” Majima sighed. He was like that sometimes. The guy who’d tried to stab Kiryu and ended up stabbing Majima had been beaten within an inch of his life, then given a minor promotion because Majima ‘liked his bold attitude’. 

Nishida wracked his brain for a moment and his eye caught on the TV behind Majima. The Christmas film was one of those soppy ones where a chick was being pulled into a kiss under the mistletoe. Had Majima been watching this before they’d been brought in? Unknown to Nishida, Majima had indeed watched the whole thing before they’d been brought in, and was now replaying it.

Then an idea struck. It might just be insane enough to either get Nishida stomped on or make him the free pizza king.  
“Boss, I know!” Nishida put up his hand, and Majima whirled around.  
“Y’always have the best ones Nishida-san, hit me!”  
“It’s Christmas! So you could lure Kiryu-san under some mistletoe, and then hit him when he refuses to… follow tradition…?” Nishida trailed off as Majima stalked closer, his one eye narrowed. Everyone else glanced at him, nervous.  
“That…” Majima growled. “Is brilliant! Nyeeeheehee!”

Majima tossed away his bat, which hit the wall behind him with a dull clunk, and scribbled ‘Mistletoe’ in huge letters under Kiryu’s picture.  
“So what are we thinkin’, deck out the whole of Kamurocho in mistletoe??”  
“Maybe just the main streets, boss.” Koike-san suggested. “You know where Kiryu walks most the best!”  
“Or you can get those hats with it on a stick!” Someone else piped up, and Majima happily wrote down the suggestions.  
“Or one of us could dangle it for you boss!”  
“Aw you guys!” Majima grinned, whole body animated as he jotted down suggestions.

“Majima-san!” A nervous newbie at the back put up his hand. His peers looked both highly confused at the turn of events, and concerned for their friend who was speaking out after what had happened to the last guy. Nishida supposed that at normal family meetings discussing extortion or protection schemes might be the norm. But here in the Majima Family, they were getting Kiryu under that mistletoe if it killed them.

“Yeah?” Majima pointed.  
“What if Kiryu-san…uh… does follow tradition?” The guy asked in a meek voice, but Majima just stroked his own chin.  
“Hmm, he is kinda a traditional guy. Maybe I can beat his ass for playin’ with a man’s heart!” Majima exclaimed, and scribbled his solution on the whiteboard with pride. Half the time Nishida wondered if Majima actually did have a huge crush on Kiryu, but was too insane to actually notice. Like, he’d pole-danced for Kiryu, dressed up as a hostess for Kiryu (and from what Nishida had heard, had a very nice date), had taken a knife to the guts for Kiryu, had got into all of Kiryu’s hobbies to have fun with him…

“Alright, let’s get that pizza and work out the nuts and bolts of this thing eh?” Majima pointed at Nishida, the phone bitch, and he dialled their favourite place.

***

The next day found Nishida behind a car with a fishing pole to which was attached a sprig of mistletoe. They had decided to go with this one so that a) Majima didn’t get kissed by just any random citizen, and b) to be mobile in case Kiryu tried to dodge.  
“The Boss is givin’ the signal!” Aiko, a huge, burly yakuza in a muscle tee beside him, peeked over the van. Aiko and Koike were both here to make sure the operation went as smooth as possible. Nishida shoved the fishing pole over the boss, and they all said a silent good luck. Majima in a good mood as soon as possible would be amazing.

Majima spotted Kiryu the moment he rounded the corner. He stood about a head above everyone else, was shaped like a block of cement, and was the only person on the street going at a full tilt sprint. He waved at his underlings to put the plan into go, and ran into Kiryu’s path.

“Kiryu-chan!!” Majima called, delighted that he had finally caught the man. He was gonna give him some good old thug style today, and couldn’t wait for Kiryu to punch him directly in the face.  
“Not right now, Majima-san!” Kiryu huffed, but had to stop so as not to plough directly into him. He seemed to be in the middle of something, but what was more important than a good fight?  
“Not right now? But look, Kiryu-chan – “ Majima practically purred, and pointed upwards. Nishida’s mistletoe on a fishing pole bobbed above them. What a great Lieutenant. “ – ya caught me under the mistletoe. Gonna give me a kiss, or do I gotta fight ya for breaking tradition, eh?”  
Majima grinned in anticipation. This was when Kiryu went ‘Fine’ and put his fists up.

Kiryu’s fierce brows furrowed. His big dumb eyes glanced at where he had been headed, then at the mistletoe, then at Majima. He grabbed Majima by the front of the yellow snakeskin jacket, and Majima gleefully waited to be thrown six feet into the opposite curb. But his prebooked flight never left the runway. Kiryu pulled him close, ducked down and kissed him right on the mouth. Majima’s eye flew wide, and his plan kind of shattered on the spot. Kiryu’s lips were warm and hard, and the kiss was as fierce as his fighting. Wow. Then the grip on his jacket was gone, Kiryu’s head pulled back, and he went charging off down the street again. 

Majima was left locked in place, stunned. Wh. Wh??!? That wasn’t supposed to happen!! His mouth opened and closed like a fish for a second until his sparked brain remembered his back-up plan.  
“Get back here Kiryu-chan!!!” He screeched, pulled his knife, and sprinted in the direction the big man had run off in. Kissing him and running?! Not even buying him dinner?! He’d kill him!

“Is the boss ok?” Aiko winced and hissed as they all peered around the car. They saw Majima whirl left, and right at an intersection, then kick a trashcan in frustration.  
“Wasn’t he supposed to fight him anyway?” Koike wondered.  
“I don’t think he expected Kiryu-san to do that…” Nishida could still see the utter shock on his boss’s face, hands thrown up against Kiryu’s huge chest in surprise as Kiryu, well, snogged him.  
“None of us did.” Aiko ducked as Majima whirled back towards them. His plan had failed. He was going to be _livid._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haruka has probably been run off again or something. And there's the Mistletoe Heat move: Essence of Lips  
> what willll Majima and Kiryu do next ;)
> 
> Please leave a comment and tell me what you thought! It would make my day! x)
> 
> Happy Holidays to everyone!! ｡∠(*^∇ﾟ)ﾉ⌒由


	2. Mastermind Kiryu

“The boss and Kiryu-san are getting married?” Saburo furrowed his dim brow, and sat down at Nishida’s table. Nishida almost spat out his noodles.  
“What?”  
“Yeah, well they kissed, so maybe!” Koike leaned forward.  
“I don’t think that confirms it…” Aiko side-eyed the door, in case Majima burst through like a hurricane. He was even more unpredictable than usual, now that Kiryu had so cleverly avoided a throwdown.  
“I definitely heard it!” Midori said in a whisper and put her bowl on the table beside Saburo.  
“I guess we’ve got to come up with some wedding plans then.” Nishida, as Majima’s right hand man, couldn’t shirk this responsibility.

“Would the boss want a tux or a dress?” Koike stirred her noodles, and they all thought for a second.  
“We could order both? Just in case? And maybe stick jewels on an eyepatch…”  
“Mm. He likes pink. We could go to some stylists and see what they have?” Nishida added, and the group nodded.  
“Ooh, we can play 24hr Cinderella as he goes down the aisle!” Aiko lit up. “He loves that song!”  
“Would we have to get costumes for the song too?” Midori wondered, and Nishida pulled out a notebook and pen to write this down. The Majima Family was pretty well off, so that was in budget.

“We could hire the best global thugs to beat them up in the reception!” Saburo said with excitement. “I know a guy who knows a guy…”  
“Brilliant, write it down.” Koike pointed at Nishida’s pad.  
“I heard there was a fight pit in Osaka with bears even. Majima-san would probably love that as a honeymoon.” Aiko mused, but got swiped by Midori.  
“The boss hates Osaka! He wouldn’t wanna go there!”  
“But they might like to fight bears at the wedding too…” Nishida suggested, and they all nodded with agreement at that.  
“We could throw 10,000 yen bills as confetti!” Koike leaped up. “Imagine our boss, goin’ down the aisle to 24hr Cinderella, swimmin’ in 10,000 yen bills …”  
Both her and Saburo teared up. Nishida tried to hold back the tears as well. He’d be so happy…

“Oi! I ain’t got all day! Kiryu ain’t gonna beat himself up!!” Majima slammed open the HQ doors, and all five of them jumped. Nishida slammed his notebook and pen into his jacket, and they all rushed over to plan the next Kiryu trap.

***

Majima was frothing at the mouth for another fight. How could such an enormous man be so sneaky? Hidin’ from him?! So Majima had just decided to do the plain old sprint-and-smack today; spot Kiryu, sprint at him, and fight him whether he liked it or not. No option to back out!

It took Majima about 5 minutes of street creeping to locate the target. Kiryu was crouched over a puddle, pawing something that looked like a card out of the dirt. Strange. Sometimes Majima thought they had more in common than Kiryu would ever admit. Kiryu got his dirt prize, then started to jog off down the pavement.

“Kirrrryu-chan!” Majima yowled in glee and dashed at the brick shithouse of a man, bat raised. Kiryu stopped as he saw Majima on the warpath towards him.  
“Oh.” Kiryu said, and before Majima could smack him around the head, ducked down and kissed him again. Majima stopped dead in his half-swing. This time, Kiryu’s warm hands went to his bare waist, and his lips were so gentle and hot that Majima, despite himself, melted just a little bit. Then Kiryu was gone again, jogging off around the corner, and Majima gaped, dazed. He tried to squeeze his bat in rage, but realized he’d dropped it. What the hell?! There hadn’t been any mistletoe!! That devious snake!! 

Majima grabbed his bat off the ground and sprinted off down the road Kiryu had jogged down, only to find his fight buddy gone. How was he being outwitted? They all knew Kiryu was dense as a diamond phonebook. This wasn’t fair!  
“You think kissin’s gonna get ya off the hook??” Majima howled into the Kiryu-less street. “Well it ain’t! Yer gonna get it next time!!!”

“Oh, dear, did that big man cheat on you?” An old bat who looked half blind tutted. “He looks like the type who’d get chased a lot.”  
“Whadda you know old lady?? I’m chasin’ _him!”_ Majima shouldered his bat and glared down the street.  
“Aw don’t waste your time, hon. You know, my grand-daughter’s a nice young lady, she’d be a much better option than trying to steal a married man.” The old lady patted his arm, and Majima shook her off.

“Kiryu-chan ain’t married yet! And don’t sell yer grand-daughter to random men on the street!” Majima scolded.  
“How about my grand-son?”  
“No!” Majima yelled. “I don’t got time for this. Get back here Kiryu-chan, ya sleazy bastard!”  
He left the weird old lady and pelted off to try and attack his man like a rabid dog.

Things did not Go To Plan. Majima didn’t know what was happening. Every time he pounced on Kiryu, Kiryu would just kiss him, and Majima forgot the entire world, his entire purpose, until Kiryu stopped kissing him and ran away down the street. Despite how mad he got afterwards, it always ended up the same. And when they met up in Pocket Circuit Racing, Kiryu didn’t even mention it. He just seemed happy to race, and Majima was kinda fine with that too. Maybe he didn’t wanna talk about that shit around kids? Who knew what went on in that mind. Not that apparently, because when Majima waited outside Pocket Circuit Racing to stab Kiryu, Kiryu just caught him and kissed him again right in front of all the little kiddies and their parents trailing into play.

Then, the next day, Kiryu finally let him get a swing in, and Majima threw down so hard that they were both left panting and clutching their various bruises. Majima couldn’t believe Kiryu had shoved lit firecrackers in his mouth. That was so creative and cool! And Majima may have slammed a Kiryu-shaped indent into a nearby car, but hey, they could send him the gratitude payment later. And then he had to go and open his big fuckin’ mouth. 

Majima didn’t know what made him say it. Maybe it was the adrenaline high, or the fact that he had finally got to do what he most enjoyed but.  
“Aw what, no kiss for me today?” He crowed as the bloodthirsty crowd dispersed.  
“Hm?” Kiryu’s deadpan face went a little bemused, and then to Majima’s utter shock (how was he taken by surprise every fucking time?) caught his face and pressed his warm lips against Majima’s mouth. But this time, he’d had his fight, and was happy and satisfied. So he relaxed into Kiryu’s lips a bit and kissed him back.

“Ya soppy bastard.” Majima griped as they parted, and shoved Kiryu’s shoulder. He didn’t want to admit he liked that corny shit, but it felt really nice. Kiryu’s weirdly gentle kisses were enjoyable, and his hard, ferocious ones were exciting... Ugh.  
“Don’t think this gets ya off the hook! I’ll be seein’ ya round, Kiryu-chan!” Majima regained his composure, and wandered off down the street.

This went on for a while; sometimes Kiryu would kiss him, and Majima would let him because he really liked it but couldn’t admit it, sometimes they just threw down like normal, and sometimes Majima got, or even gave Kiryu a kiss after a fight if it had been particularly good. Well, anythin’ to make Kiryu put his all into it, Majima thought, as he bought the newest MesuKing pack, and headed off to the arcade Kiryu had invited him to battle at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know if Kiryu and Majima got married, it would be Just That Ridiculous :P
> 
> Leave a comment, and let me know what you think! I love hearin from you guys ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ


	3. Shopping with the Goblin

“Oh Kiryu-san, I just don’t know what to wear!” Rina clapped her hands at the dresses in a display, and Kiryu really didn’t know what he was doing here, outside a fancy dress shop, trying to pick out something his friend could wear on a date with her new girlfriend. He liked the stuff he picked, but usually everyone else told him it was, well, bad.

“That one looks ok.” Kiryu pointed at a tartan dress. It looked wearable.  
“Kiryu-san! That’s the middle-aged section.” Rina tutted, and grabbed his hand to tug him to the next shop.  
“Oh. I guess I am a little older.” Kiryu frowned at the displays. Man, styles had changed in ten years. The colours were duller, the hems were longer, and the dresses were baggier. He didn’t really know if he preferred either or, but it was definitely different.

“Ooh - !”  
“KIRYUUU-CHAN!!”  
Oh no.  
Him.  
While he was out with a friend.  
Well, Kiryu would try to make Majima stand down on this one. So he turned to see the gremlin with an excited grin on his face. Every time he saw Majima, he was never sure whether he was happy or annoyed. But part of him just couldn’t help but be fond of the disaster.

“Oh. Ok.” Kiryu bent down to give him the usual smooch. It was nice he’d found something to get him out of fighting when he didn’t want to, that Majima seemed ok with as well.  
“Oi, nah Kiryu-chan, you gotta give me some tongue if you wanna get outta this one.” He poked Kiryu’s chest, but he really didn’t want to make Rina wait for their fight to be over, and probably shatter the shop front windows around them. So Kiryu relented with a ‘hm’, wrapped his arms around Majima’s waist and kissed him.

Majima squeaked in surprise, which was weirdly cute. Kiryu had never really ‘given some tongue’ before, so he just licked at Majima’s mouth a bit and hoped it was ok. It seemed to work, because as usual, Majima sort of glowered but didn’t punch him in the face.

“Ooh, Kiryu-san, who’s this!” Rina giggled and grabbed at his arm.  
“Ain’t that what I should be askin’? Who the hell’s this?” Majima pulled out his knife, and Kiryu sighed. “How can ya play with a man’s heart like this?”  
“Majima-san, this is Rina. I was just helping her find a dress for a date with her new girlfriend tonight.” He put a hand on Majima’s knife hand as Rina ducked behind him with a squeak.

“You fucking kidding?” Majima thankfully sheathed his knife. “Kiryu-chan’s taste is the worst!”  
“You looked in a mirror recently?” Kiryu shot back, and Majima cackled.  
“Who says I wanna look boring and normal? Come on Rina-chan I’ll find you somethin’ that’ll knock that girl’s socks off!” Majima grabbed Kiryu’s wrist in one hand, Rina’s in the other, and booted the nearest shop’s door open. Kiryu sighed as he let himself get dragged along. At least Majima looked like he was having fun. The shop assistant, on the other hand, had wide eyes as two men who looked like highly dangerous criminals dragged a girl into their shop.

“Can I help you?” The assistant tried in a meek voice.  
“You shop people are on ya feet all day! Go sit down!” Majima brushed past them to get to the dresses and tutted.  
“Nah,” He tossed a dress behind him, and started to just fling offensive items off the shelves.  
“Majima-san, stop! You’re making a mess.” Kiryu grizzled.  
“Kick my ass then!” Majima just tossed some more dresses aside as the poor shop assistant could only watch.  
“I will make him tidy it up.” Kiryu assured them as Rina excitedly went to help him make a huge mess. They were lucky there weren’t any other customers in here at the moment.

After a fervent search, Majima finally returned from the clothes pile with a set of dresses on hangers.  
“So Rina, this’ll make ya look real cute.” He waved a ruffled light pink thing at her then hung it on a rack nearby. “This one’s super sexy, and I got a party outfit right here.”  
He held up two more dresses that actually looked kind of nice.  
“You’re not bad at this.” Kiryu cocked his head as Rina picked up the ‘cute’ option.  
“I usedta run a cabaret club, didn’t I? Had to dress all the ladies up there.” Majima shrugged, and Kiryu smiled a little. He would have liked to see that.

“I want to look really cute!” Rine exclaimed, so Majima abruptly tossed the other two dresses over his shoulder.  
“Alright. I gotcha some back-up for cute if you wanna try them on.” Majima slid some more hangers off his arm, and thrust them in Rina’s direction.  
“Ahh, thank you Majima-san! I’ll go try these on right away!” Rina grinned, and Kiryu was happy to see she was pleased. Perhaps running into Majima hadn’t been such a disaster after all.

Rina ran off to the changing rooms, and Kiryu picked up a victim of Majima’s search method.  
“We should tidy up.” Kiryu sighed, and Majima took the dress.  
“Yeah, yeah.” He chucked it on the rack he’d picked it up from, then grabbed a sparkly black number.  
“Oi Kiryu-chan? Think I’d look nice in this?” Majima held it up against his chest and swished it a bit.  
“You’d look very classy.” Kiryu smiled, and couldn’t help but compare the look with Majima’s last dress – pink, tight, and very gaudy.  
“Yeah, boring!” Majima tossed it back on the shelf, and snatched up something far more what Kiryu would expect; a tiny red leather thing with a zip up the front.  
“This’d show off my tits _and_ legs!”  
Oh Majima. Never change, Kiryu thought as the happy little goblin pawed through more of his discards.

“Majima-san, Kiryu-san!” Rina popped her head around the changing room door, then stepped out fully. She had on a light blue summer dress covered in splashes of white flowers. It did look nice.  
“Hell yeah! Cute!” Majima gave her a thumbs up. “They gotta have accessories here, and then we can get ya some shoes!”  
Majima could be, well, a criminal at times, but it was moments like this that Kiryu really, really liked him.

The rest of the day was actually oddly normal for Kiryu’s life. They found Rina some white heels and a chunky bracelet, and then had lunch at a sushi restaurant. Despite Majima daring himself to eat an unholy amount of wasabi, and Rina watching in slightly horrified awe as Kiryu ate his usual amount of three whole sushi platters, there wasn’t much drama. It was just good to hang out with friends for once.

“Well, I gotta split and get the next surprise for you goin’, Kiryu-chan!” Majima waved as they exited on to the street. “Good luck with that date, Rina-chan, knock ‘er dead!”  
With that Majima took off down the street, and Kiryu swore he saw him climb into a manhole. Hmm.

“Kiryu-san I love your boyfriend!” Rina laughed, and Kiryu almost had a heart attack. What?  
“Oh, we’re not dating.” He explained. Where had she got that idea from?  
“You kiss him though!” Rina pointed out as Kiryu walked her back to her apartment, so she could get ready for her date.  
“It’s not like that. We’re just friends.” Kiryu shrugged, because they were, weren’t they? “We sometimes bowl together, sing karaoke, and he’s into some of the games I like too.”

“You know that sounds a lot like dating…” Rina raised her eyebrows. Did it? Kiryu hadn’t dated anyone really.  
“But we don’t…you know…uh…” He waved a hand to imply what he meant.  
“Go to love motels?” She winked and Kiryu narrowed his eyes at that.  
“Yeah. I don’t really want to either.”  
“Some kinds of dating you don’t have to! I mean some people aren’t really into sex.” She added and Kiryu wished they could change the subject as soon as possible.

“I guess I’m like that.” He eyeballed the pavement. He’d never told anyone that before.  
“But you like kissing him?” Rina giggled, and Kiryu didn’t really know what to say.  
“It’s…nice?” He stumbled out. He liked how Majima’s façade sort of shattered, how Majima went a little vulnerable and soft, and how he got flustered and did things like drop the baseball bat he was trying to kill Kiryu with.

“I guess I like fighting him sometimes too. He looks good and is really passionate…” Kiryu trailed off, unsure what he was feeling right now. He did think that when two men clashed in combat, their bodies rose to the peak of physical beauty, and Majima certainly met that. But it wasn’t a sexual thing, like admiring the sparkle of a diamond wasn’t sexual.  
“Relationships aren’t defined by society. If you want to be this or that to him, then that’s up to you!” Rina hummed happily as they neared her apartment block. “Maybe talk to him. Who knows? Thanks for dropping me home!”

She waved, and Kiryu watched her go, still confused. He’d never thought about dating too much, because it hadn’t really bothered him. Sometimes it was nice to go to hostess clubs and talk to people, because, well, Majima really was one of the only friends he had left, and he spent most of his time cackling with a knife, covered in garbage. Even that thought was kind of fond though. Maybe he did want…something with Majima. Or maybe what they had right now was fine. He’d ask next time Majima inevitably pounced out of a tree to shiv him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big Dumb is confused. I love himb.   
> Also the sentence "when two men clash[ed] in combat, their bodies [rose] to the peak of physical beauty" is taken word for word from Kiryu’s dialogue in substory ‘Man Scout’ lol ;)
> 
> Please leave a comment and tell me what you think! I hope y'all are having a happy holiday season o<(ﾉ・ω・)ﾉ*:..｡o○☆


	4. Decked in the Halls with Christmas Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take a guess at where this fic ends ;))

Majima was delighted when Kiryu found him underneath a giant traffic cone.  
“Surprise!!”  
“Majima-san!”  
“Kiryu-chan!!”  
“What’re you doing here?” Even so artfully surprised, Kiryu’s stone face barely showed any reaction. That was just a challenge to get more wild!  
“Ain’t it obvious! I was hidin’! Just waiting for the day when you would finally lift the cone and expose me!” Majima cackled, and to his delight, Kiryu laughed.  
“Heh, then your surprise attack failed. As far as hiding spots go, this one is hardly your best one.”

“Nah, you got it wrong. This was perfect! You knew I was here, so you must have wanted a fight!” Majima grinned – Kiryu had found him for a fight! How sweet!  
“I…suppose.” Kiryu sighed.  
“I stood still in that cone for so long I got stiff and cold. You better warm me up, Kiryu-chan!” Majima tried to wink, but every blink was a wink with him.  
“I guess so. I’ll beat you so hard you’ll wish you stayed in there!”  
This was so nice. He wished Kiryu got so pumped up every time!

Kiryu did indeed warm him up nicely. So good that Majima deigned this fight to be a kiss-worthy one.  
“Nyeeheehee! I feel warm all over! Nice moves, Kiryu-chan.” He grinned his usual goblin grin, wrapped his arms around Kiryu’s neck and kissed his concrete, emotionless lips. Kiryu’s shoulders were so firm under his hands – no wonder he was such a good fighter! But his hands caressed nice gentle lines on Majima’s sides, so it added a bit of warm contrast. 

Everyone who had just cheered on their fight got a little confused – these two sworn enemies now smooching after one had just smashed a motorcycle over the other one’s head was a bit odd. Also, kissing in the street was quite scandalous. But who was going to tell them to stop? These massively criminal men who could survive being pile-driven into a sidewalk? The citizens had had to adapt to it by over the past few days. The scary yakuza men either kissed or threw down on the street and everybody just went with it. Someone even started cheering like this was a fight again.

“There ya go.” Majima smirked. And then.  
“Are we dating?”  
Majima stood there with his mouth open for a second. He thought he’d misheard.  
“Eh??”  
“Are we dating?” Kiryu repeated in his low voice, face expressionless as always. Still, Kiryu managed to find ways to make Majima speechless.  
“What? I mean…” Majima didn’t know. “Ya askin’ t’ take me to a hotel?”  
What the fuck was he going to do if Kiryu said yes?? Maybe?? He didn’t know?? Could they just not fight? And smooch?

“No, no!” Kiryu exclaimed, and Majima, whose intrusive thoughts had created a weird sleazy Kiryu caressin’ balloons on a bed, relaxed in relief.  
“One of my friends just wondered. And I wondered too. She said some people who date don’t go to hotels.” Kiryu’s braincell seemed stretched to the max on this one.  
“I mean, what’d be the difference if we call it datin’ then?” Majima wondered. “Ya gonna take me out t’ dinner? I ain’t into that romantic shit.”  
“I…” Kiryu all of a sudden looked all awkward and adorable. “Would you like to fight me on top of the Millenium Tower?”

Speechless again. Did this man know him or what??  
“Would I?? Oh Kiryu-chan, you sure know how to treat a guy!” Majima grabbed his arm and already started to drag him off. Kiryu smiled his fuckin’ cute lil smile.  
“If we’re datin’ ya gotta call me Goro-chan though! And can I call ya Kazzy-chan? Or would ya like me to stick to Kiryu-chan?” Majima was suddenly far too excited about this, even more so when Kiryu slid his arm away to hold Majima’s hand instead as they ran. That was kinda nice, the big soppy lug.  
“I don’t mind.”

“And ya know I still gotta kick your ass right? No boyfriend of mine is gonna be weak!” Majima booted open the door for the Millenium Tower that was probably open for night patrons of whatever shady businesses went on. But Majima fuckin’ dared anyone to try and tell him to turn around.  
“Heh, I didn’t think you would stop.” Kiryu sounded amused behind him, as Majima dragged him across the dark floor to the elevator. This was gonna be so much fun! He’d always wanted a fight with a view! Preferably from a similarly huge tower with his own name plastered across it, but those were goals to work towards.

The elevator took them to the top floor, but Majima weren’t settlin’ for that. Together they managed to find another door, one that led to the helicopter pad on the roof. The view of Tokyo stretched out, on into the distance on one side, while Tokyo Bay glittered across another side. Damn breath-taking, that’s what it was. A cool breeze drifted past and Majima could smell snow on the way. Yes, perfect! This was gonna be the best fight of his life! Kiryu could throw him off the edge, and he’d die happy!

“Come on Kiryu-chan! Show me that dragon! I’m gonna beat you so bad you’ll wish you’d never invited me up here!” Majima threw off his jacket to reveal his full snakes and Hannya demon.  
“Don’t be so sure! I’ll break you against this roof.” Kiryu somehow ripped his suit jacket and shirt off at the same time, and there was the money shot! Nothing bet shirtless Kiryu in a fight!

Majima had never had such a good time. Neither of them went off the edge, and he was pretty sure they destroyed several air conditioning units, but it was all worth it in the name of a good fight. Finally, Kiryu grappled him around the shoulders, and Majima did it back, so they wrestled for a moment – and then:

_Boom! Crackkk!_

A sparkle of colour showered the sky to their left and Majima grinned. Fireworks. Must be Christmas. He tossed Kiryu over, but Kiryu caught him with a counter-throw and flung him on to his back as well. They both landed with a hard _thud_ on the ground. That’d do him. His body ached, and his left arm had pins and needles, but it wasn’t a good fight unless ya felt it! Kiryu scrambled up, ready to curb stomp him, but Majima just waved the hand that worked properly.

“Ahh, ya got me fair.” Majima sighed and spread eagled happily on the cold roof. Well, it woulda been cold, if Kiryu hadn’t just got him snug and warm.  
“Why do I feel like you’re still holding back.” Kiryu sighed, and took a seat beside him. Fireworks reflected in his big dumb eyes, and Majima felt a swell of affection.  
“Gotta save some exciting shit for later.” Majima basically did a crunch to sit up beside him. Fat flakes of snow started to drift down.

Kiryu just chuckled, and they watched the fireworks together for a moment. And then something occurred to Majima.  
“Oi. I wasn’t ya first kiss, was I?”  
“Oh. Yeah, I think so.” Kiryu shrugged, and Majima gaped.  
“How can you be so casual about that?”  
“I don’t know. It was nice though.” Kiryu smiled for like the fifth time tonight, and Majima would definitely have to get used to that.  
“It was shit! Now come here, I’ll kiss you properly.” 

Majima caught Kiryu’s square jaw, and pulled him forward. This time he actually took it seriously; he moved his lips against Kiryu’s when the other man relaxed into him, lapped at Kiryu’s mouth until he let him in, and slid his tongue slow and hot against Kiryu’s. It made him tingle all over, or maybe he’d actually broken something, but either way, it was wonderful. Kiryu made a low, happy noise in his throat and traced Majima’s Hannya. That just made Majima kiss him harder, and by the time they parted, they were both short of breath.

“That was really nice.” Kiryu leaned his head against Majima’s temple, and Majima gave him a playful shove that would’ve sent a normal human through a wall.  
“Don’t be goin’ all soft on me or I’ll have to kick your ass again.” Majima griped, and Kiryu just chuckled. But he still laid his hand over Majima’s as they both leaned back to watch the last of the fireworks go off through the snow flurries, and Majima had to admit: whatever they had, he really, really liked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you all have a great holiday season! :D I get so happy every time I read this ending, so I'm thrilled to share it with you! n.n
> 
> Please leave a comment to tell me what you thought, it would make my day! x)
> 
> o＜(ｏ’∀’)ﾉ☆*:;;;:*☆Merry Christmas☆*:;;;:*☆ヽ(‘∀’ｏ)＞o


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